Much Ado About Nothing?

This past week has been a roller-coaster of emotions to say the least.

I started last week with an interview, to what I still believe was to be my dream job.

Life

Strapped in, stomach churning due to anticipation. Emotions were ranging from fear to excitement back to fear again. I visualized the ending and saw myself getting that phone call which I was to be told the position was mine. I made it to the interview and dodged the first hurdle. At this point I'm strapped in, total chaos surrounds me and my thoughts. But I look ahead and set my thoughts to tunnel vision. Trying to make sense of the jumbled emotions, excitement, nervousness and fear I begin the assessment day. Before I know it I'm strapped in. I want to run away and hide but curiosity gets the better of me and the thought of what's to come is too compelling. Slowly, etching closer and closer the hours pass and most of the day is done. I can't see what's ahead of me, looking back and dwelling is not a good idea, looking sideways is too distracting so I decide to just look forward. With my thoughts slightly jumbled I try to adapt with the rest of the day and finally I can see the top of the hill approaching. I made it through the day. Was the worst over with? Or is it yet to come.

After the assessment day is done I am full of excitement, waiting for the happy news to arrive. Then the train stops on the tracks. There's nothing left to do but wait...

With my heart in my throat I try to keep visualizing the outcome, receiving the good news and being ecstatic with the result. The sudden silence lasts for days! I don't hear anything.

I wonder if this seat belt is secure at all? Until Friday when I MAKE THE CALL. As I await the outcome, my heart is in my throat, stomach is churning but I remain positive and think this ride could be life changing. Excitement rushes through like water in a river. Then she says the dreaded words "unfortunately you have been unsuccessful". Suddenly it all becomes black and there's a deafening silence. All of a sudden I can see the drop. My hands are gripped tight, im holding on for dear life and feel myself descending at rapid rate. All around is chaos, I didn't prepare for this. Thoughts and feelings are chaotic again. I feel the shakes as the coaster twists and turns, my thoughts try and keep up. Then it happens... the fall back down to earth. Before I know it the adventure is over, my head is spinning in ways I have never imagined, I climb out of my seat feeling sick, legs shaking, not knowing what to do next.

Could I possibly put myself through this again? Will a new faster, shinier roller coaster be less of an anti climax?

Is there a bigger better ride awaiting in the future?