How I Stay Positive Part 2. Living In The Present.

Have you ever been presented with a meal that looks so delicious you just want to devour it straight away? Often I'll rush to take a bite and then the inevitable happens; a burnt tongue. This happens to me way to often with hot chocolate, pizza, so, so often with pizza. My point is that we can often be the same when it comes to life. I don't know about you but I spend so much time trying to rush things that I forget to live and enjoy where I am now.

Trust The Process

I often get too preoccupied with how I want my future life to look that I forget to appreciate what my life is like now. I forget to exist exactly where I am now. When I graduated University I had a certain picture of how my life would look a few years later. It didn't quite turn out how I expected. so I spent alot of time wishing I was ahead in life. I pondered on how much time had gone by and I was no where closer to any of these 'goals'. I found myself not being able to enjoy certain things because I was so focused on what I didn't have. I put off being 'happy' because I wasn't where I thought I should be. I should have been enjoying the life that I have now. If we keep wishing we were ahead in life we'll miss all the small lessons life tries to teach us. I should have taken all the energy I put into wishing I was ahead and instead focused it on the now and making the most out of my time. I mean, it's true we'll never be as young as we are right now so why waste time worrying on things we don't have total control over.

I've learned recently to trust the process, and not to rush things. I trust that right now is where I need to be. I can't skip and jump to the future because there's still so much I need to learn, and who knows if that future is really what I want? Let's embrace the now and really appreciate it. Millennials, we will get to where we need to be, we just need to trust the process.

Do you ever put off 'happiness' because you wished your life was different?

How I Stay Positive. Part 1

At the start of the month I wrote a post detailing ways in which I am making 2015 a positive year. I mentioned that I'm not the type of person who makes New Years Resolutions as I believe you don't have to wait for a new year to make a change. You can make a change at any time of your life. So during Autumn last year that's exactly what I did. I made a conscious effort to become more positive.

Isn't this just like real life Tumblr?

I mentioned in various blog posts last year that I was getting quite down, due to many factors but mainly through post graduation job rejection. To be honest I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I read various pieces of literature, spoke to different people and quickly realised that there are many things in life which we cannot control. We can however take control of our thoughts. I was the only person who could help myself. Now, deciding to be more positive is one of the easiest and most difficult changes to make. It's easy as you can quickly decide to do it, and don't really need much outside help as it comes from yourself. However, STAYING positive is a little harder. I really had to retrain my thought process. These are a few things I do to stay positive:

Gratitude.
Thankfulness, gratefulness and appreciation is a feeling of a benefit. No matter how big or small it can have a positive affect on your mood. When I think I have nothing to be thankful for I always go back to my breath. Start from your breath and build from there. I do this in the morning and it really helps my mood throughout the day.

Stop and Think
During work when things aren't going right or even if its just been a busy day. I stop what I'm doing and think for a few moments about how I'm feeling and what thoughts are going on in my mind. By doing so I am instantly aware, and it helps me stay on a positive track. We all lead busy lives and our thoughts can get away from us, just stop for a couple minutes, and think about whats going on in your mind.

Mental Cleansing
This goes hand in hand with the above. Much like how you detox from bad foods this is like a detox of a mind. Getting rid of any mind clutter. Social media plays a big part in mind clutter as we're often bombarded with information which may have a negative effect on our mind. I like to take 10 minutes out of the day to get rid of any thoughts or worries cluttering my mind. Usually mental cleansing takes place in the shower, I guess its the whole symbolic thing of bad thoughts being washed away?

These are a few things I do to stay positive, sometimes I find myself falling back into old ways of thinking. Then I remind myself that I have control of my thoughts and I begin to reprogram again.

How do you stay positive?

The Devils In The Retail?

Busy shopping centres, long queues, cold weather but sweltering heating on in stores. Whats not to love about Christmas shopping? I've spent many years working pre and post Christmas in retail. I can tell that there definitely comes a shift in both shoppers and workers attitudes as soon as the sound of Michael Buble flows through the speakers. Working in retail has taken the shine off Christmas, I shudder at the thought of Boxing Day. 

Shoppers, we all hate long queues and busy shops, and sales associates we all know that you would rather like to be home watching Elf. A large proportion of people working in retail consists of students or graduates who are starting to question the existence of a graduate job, much like a child questions Santa's existence. *Raises hand* the latter is me.

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How Life After Graduation Changed Me

I just love those post its.

Millennials come hither. We all know that life after graduation can for most of us, just plain suck. For some its everything they've always wanted and life slots into place perfectly. However, for people like myself quite the opposite happens. The first few months after graduating I felt like the world was my oyster and I could do anything I wanted. I was free from the shackles of education. The first thing I did was jet off to NYC! I came back more inspired and motivated than ever, I blame Jay Z and Empire State of Mind for that one. This didn't last long as rejection letter after rejection letter took its toll. Here's how life after graduation changed me.

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What I learnt From My Tech Time Out

If you're familiar with my blog, you'd probably remember a post I wrote during the summer titled 'Go Outside, There's Life Out There.'  I discussed how I was going to take a mini break from social media and basically just go outside more. As I ventured outside and away from a computer screen here are a few things I learned.

Watch the world go by

• It was surprisingly easy to break the habit of pulling out my phone every few minutes. I used to be guilty of always relying on my Twitter feed as something to read when waiting for a train. I found that putting my phone in my bag (I can never find anything in my bag) rather than in my pocket made it easier to reach for it less. 
• As a result of the above, I found myself reading books more and even just stopping to look out at the world. People watching is surprisingly fun and therapeutic. Watching the world go by helps put your own problems and thoughts into perspective. 
• Going for more walks really did blow away the cobwebs. I felt more refreshed and overall more inspired. 
• If I had to use the laptop, even just taking it outside made a huge difference to how I felt. 
• The most revealing thing I found was how I stopped comparing myself to others. The less time I spent on social media the more I realised you really can't compare yourself to someones highlight reel. Comparison is the thief of all joy.
• I tend to keep myself out of the popularity contest which is prevalent in blogging. The 'follow backs' and 'like for likes' just get me angry. I found that when I stopped comparing and thinking about how people got their 'popularity'. The less I cared and the less I was bothered by it. 
• The less I consumed, the more I created. I made the conscious decision to create content which excites me and what I would want to read. 

Overall the experience was really refreshing. I made more memories this summer without worrying about taking a picture. I really recommend putting the phone away for a few hours a day if you find yourself in a slump. As the days become shorter and darker I will continue with this process, and make a conscious decision to go outside more, even though I don't deal with the cold well. I am a summer baby after all. 

Would you take a tech time out?

Postcards From Paris

Does anyone else remember the Olsen twins movie; Passport To Paris? I've loved the Olson twins since I was a child and when I saw that movie at the age of 10/11 I knew I had to go.

For my 16th birthday I took the trip to Paris. This weekend I stumbled across the photographs from this trip and began reminiscing. Firstly, I must add that there is nothing more satisfying than finding printed photographs. I need to start printing more and put them in albums instead of keeping them on my computer. I created a collage and began taking snaps. Remember the old school collages, instead of the apps we get on our phones nowadays. 

• Paris is one of the most beautiful cities I have traveled to and fully intend on going back.
• I stayed in one of the Disney hotels called Sequoia Lodge. In one of the pictures below you can see the soap I stole from the hotel room.  It was too cute.
• The views from Sacre Coeur and the top of the Eiffel Tower boasts stunning views for the city. 
• It was very hot and the air conditioning wasn't working on the Eurostar on the return journey. It was one of the worst journeys I have been on. Not fun.
• Disneyland Paris is fun for any age! I had a blast and want to go again asap.
• This was before my love of skincare began, not one picture of a French pharmacy in sight. The shame.

Have you been to Paris, I'd love to hear about your trip.

The Not So Roaring Twenties?

When I was 15, I completed a work experience placement during my final year of school. I recall so vividly, and have never forgotten something one of the lovely ladies I was working with said: "I definitely wouldn't want to relive my teen years, but I would love to relive my twenties, they were so much fun." Well here I am at 24 and can't say I agree... Yet, anyway. Would I want to relive these years of uncertainty and confusion? I have had moments during my early twenties so far which I have enjoyed immensely. However, on the other hand I envisioned life at 24 slightly differently. Life after University is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Graduate jobs are harder to obtain. Getting that first step on the career ladder feels like a giant leap, and the constant jealous pang felt when seeing students who have just got their loan seems like it will never go away.

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This Old Plane is Now A Bar & Restaurant

DC-6 Diner

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I've Been Thinking...

This is a post I've been wanting to write for a long time now but just couldn't find the words or thought it wasn't good timing. Lately, I've been speaking to a lot of people who are feeling similar to me so I thought now is a better time than any to discuss whats been on my mind.

I graduated University a couple of years ago, if you'd have asked me then where would I see myself at 24 I would have gave a completely different answer to what the reality is. I always knew it would be hard to get started with a career but I took opportunities that were offered to me which I thought would help. In a matter of fact they have probably left me more confused than ever. If you were to ask me today where would I see myself in 5 years, well, that question would probably leave me an anxious, sweaty mess. Just the thought of it makes my heart beat faster. I don't know whether this could be down to the job rejections I have faced. I am grateful for the job that I do have, even though it isn't what I saw myself doing or in fact what I want to do, I guess its better than nothing. I do feel I am sometimes just waiting for life to start and that I should realise it has started and I should stop 'wasting' time waiting for something to happen.

"Everyone's path is different." Can't tell you how many times I've been told this. Or any other cliches about not comparing your lives to others. I do believe this and it is somewhat comforting. But do you ever wonder when your path will begin and not be stuck at the 'stop' sign? I know that at 24 your not supposed to have it all figured out, I somewhat blame social media for making it seem like we should. People only post what they want to, right? I have however very recently witnessed that most people use filters for their lives. By only posting and sharing the happy and successful parts of live they hide the rest of it. Most of those happy, almost bragging posts/pictures are staged and in fact not even in the slightest a true representation of life at that moment. If you find yourself a little envious of that person on instagram or blog who's life looks perfect. Take a second to think, that is just one snapshot that they have taken to share with you. If you look behind the camera they are using to take that selfie you'll see life is very different. I hope that makes sense. Basically if you find yourself, like I did starting to compare your life to others. I urge you to step away, do something like read a book or go outside and breathe, you'll feel better.

I sometimes find myself really struggling with anxiety and my thoughts sometimes get the better of me. Talking about it really helps, even when you don't want to. Or even writing things down. Actually, even as I type this post it is somewhat therapeutic. I'm not sure if anyone will read this let alone think it's helpful in any way but if you do I'd love to know some of your thoughts. Or if your a graduate, I'd love to know how things are going post University.

Mindy Kaling Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

The book I chose to take on holiday with me was Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me by Mindy Kaling. I knew even before I had read a page that I would love it. The title drew me in, as I'm sure I'm not the only one who has had this concern. When I saw that the first chapter was called 'Chubby for Life' I knew me and this book would get on well.

I have to admit I'm slightly biased and really admire Mindy, as a woman of colour myself (regular viewers of the Mindy project should get that reference) I see her as a brilliant role model. Before I go any further I should say that this book is not entirely an autobiography. There are chapters which are indeed autobiographical, and some are essays which are Mindy's musings on life and her views on things. I did feel the latter part of the book included some 'filler' chapters, but who doesn't like to look at narcissistic photos.

The first thing I should say is this book will definitely make you smile. It's just what I needed to read and a quick escape from life stuff. Parts of the book did make me laugh out loud and I did get a few weird looks on the plane. Talking of the plane journey, I did notice the lady next to me peeping over to see what I was reading. Normally I hate that but in this case I thought, you should really read this, in fact all women of all ages should read this. I found myself nodding along and thinking "finally someone is talking about this". For example 'what does hooking up actually mean?' Mindy continues to ask the questions out loud that we're all secretly wondering, she does so with such whit and charm that you can't help but want to be her friend. There were parts in the book where I was reading and thought to myself, this is exactly like me and my best friend. We're not total weirdos after all, or maybe we are. Her honesty and original writing style makes it feel like you are reading a pals diary and you leave knowing them a lot better. I've recommended this book to all my friends and exclaimed "look she's just like us! And look how much she's achieved." It's empowering, without trying to be.

Mindy, (yes, I feel I can call her that because in my head we are totally bff's) was hired as a writer for The Office when she was just 24! If that isn't impressive enough she was the only female writer in a team of eight! Her book details events which took place before, during and after The Office. I enjoyed reading about pre Office times most, as I found it more relatable. That's probably where I am in my life, the awkward early 20's, where everything seems like a learning curve. I feel this is is the book that every woman of any age should read, I wish I had read it sooner. It does have a slight 'coming of age' feel to it. Men of the world, there is a chapter for you, and what you should and shouldn't wear/do. A subject I can go on and on about. For the record Min, (yeah we're that close) I agree with what you said. Especially about the Converse, replace them regularly please. 

Overall, a very enjoyable and easy read, perfect to take to the beach. If it fails to make you smile it will definitely leave you pondering the question, why does it take men so long to tie their shoes?

While I continue to crush on Mindy Kaling, tell me the books you've been enjoying.